"Ous of their freiung pfann into myne foyer."

(538.18-540.12)  As HCE continues to address the four young chaps through Shaun, he starts to sound less defensive and begins to engage in some self-promotion.  Momentarily returning to the allegations that he addressed yesterday, he laughs them off:  "My herrings!  The surdity of it!  Amean to say.  Her bare idears, it is choochoo chucklesome.  Absurd bargain, mum, will call."  As for the two young women in the park, he says that even if he were their "covin guardient," he wouldn't know what to do with them.  He suggests that the three soldiers who reported him (here each is called "Deucollion" in turn, making them rascally testicles) were just out to get him and offered trumped up charges.  "What a shrubbery trick to play!" he says.

HCE is willing to swear to his "unclothed virtue" by the Wellington Monument in Phoenix Park ("the longstone erectheion of our allfirst manhere").  He's a cultured man, he says, always thinking "in a wordworth's of that primed favourite continental poet, Daunty, Gouty and Shopkeeper, A.G." (Dante, Goethe, and Shakespeare).  He says that he has "had my best master's lessons" and is "doing my dids bits and have made of my prudentials good."  Admitting to some humility, he asks, "Have I said ogso how I abhor myself vastly (truth to tell) and do repent to my netherheart of suntry clothing?"

The "amusin part" of it all, HCE says, is how much better off Ireland is since he arrived "over the deep drowner Athacleeath to seek again Irrlanding, shamed in mind."  He brought his "imperial standard" and established a residence, then -- ever the man of the people -- set up his pub for rough men and average women.  The city was once a "hole of Serbonian bog," but now is a "city of magnificent distances."  HCE ruled with a sword and staff under the patronage of popes ("Urban First"), emperors ("Champaign Chollyman"), and kings ("Hungry the Loaved and Hangry the Hathed").  Famine and epdemics -- "the two-toothed dragon worms with allsort serpents" -- have completely vanished, and "notorious naughty livers are found not on our rolls."  After championing the country's natural beauty, HCE concludes this portion of his statement by saying, "Give heed!"  The four young chaps each give heed in turn, urging listeners to visit the Dublin suburb of Drumcondra.